Special Days Alone

First Christmas 2010 Photo

Let me preface this post with the fact that I am certainly not alone this holiday season thanks to the efforts of my Son Erik, his ex-wife Sheila, and his current girlfriend (who shall remain nameless for security reasons).  The blessing of my grandchildren will keep my heart full this holiday season.  First, to business.

I might have mentioned that I now have a PDF of Views from Sandhausen in my hands.  Yesterday, I finished proofreading it for the 2,941 time.  This was in addition to the five readings done by my Editor and at least three reading done by my designer.  I was able to find less than a dozen tweaks; at least three of them were not errors of mine at all as they were grammatically correct.  They were errors of understanding on my part since I had apparently forgot that since a parenthetical phrase does not affect the verb form, my proposed ‘corrections’ were invalid.  Thank goodness for a great Editor and a great Designer!

The topic for today is the condition of being single in a world built for couples, particularly at Holiday time.  We have all heard the stories of single folks either being totally ignored during the party season, because it upsets the ritual of ‘boy, girl, boy, etc’ at the dinner table.  The alternative is being invited to a party because the hostess has an agenda; that being arranging a date with her single, sister, daughter, cousin, granddaughter (ok, maybe not that) or other eligible lady.  Rarely it is it that you are invited as a single person on your own merits.  That is too bad for everyone involved.  Unique perspectives are lost in conversations when these ‘Lone Eagles’ are left out. 

While it is too soon to know enough people to be invited to parties, I am sure that if I were invited, I would hate going alone!  Years ago there used to be clubs for single people to gather, meet and dance.  I’m sure that it was an offshoot of the last war.  The population is much more fruitful (in every sense of the word) if they are paired off two by two.  Those places are gone today.  What we have left are bars, libraries, and the grocery store.   Here, in Sugarmill Woods, FL – the possibilities are the complete opposite of ‘endless’. 

What we do have left are eDating sites.  A report yesterday stated that one in five marriages have their roots on an eDating site.   Statistics from Dating Sites Review follow:

  • Married couples who met online have an average courtship period of 18.5 months. Married couples who met offline courtship period last on average 42 months. [2]
  • The online dating industry is now worth $4 billion worldwide. [4]
  • In the last year 17% of couples who married met on a dating site. [6]
  • 1 in 5 singles have dated someone they met on a dating site. [6]
  • 1 in 5 singles are currently in a committed relationship with someone they met on a dating site. [6]
  • In 1960, 88% of men aged 35-44 were married, for women it was 87%. By 2007 this percentage had fallen to 69% for men and 72% for women. [10]
  • According to mobile research group Ground Truth, mobile dating saw a 92% increase in users since the summer began. [16]
  • The average user of a mobile phone spends 12 minutes and 44 seconds on mobile dating sites per week. [18]
  • According to Ground Truth, Flirtomatic was the #1 visited dating site this summer through a mobile phone. Match.com was ranked 7th and eHarmony was 17th. [18]

There are many advice posts on the net; the libraries are full of them too.  I won’t even get into what you are barraged with on the Tube!  One post that caught my eye is from a 30-year old single guy, waxing poetic in the following article.  Perhaps there is something there of all of us!

Here we are betwixt Thanksgiving and New Year’s, the meat of the forced-festivity sandwich. (A bit of an aside—when did Hanukkah start so early? I don’t remember being a kid and lighting that first candle in July. Yet here we are, just easing into December, and it’s already over.)

Houses and stores are bedecked, people are hanging out with their loved ones, and holiday parties are giving us an excuse to binge-eat pumpkin bread and drink brandy at work. It’s really a magical time of year, a final spasm of goodwill before February turns us all into deep depressives

Only my seasonal affective disorder usually starts a little earlier, like say, SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

The holidays, and winter in general, are for couples.

Read the balance of his article here:

Love each other!



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